Holidailies Day 5: Cat Pictures!

Well, I had great plans of productivity and deep blog posts today, but then Netflix happened. Now I have to get ready to be a human being for the night (as opposed to a couch potato). So instead, here are some awesome pictures of my cat!

Helping with my homework:

Being totally unconcerned about my need to walk downstairs.

 Getting trapped by a bag and being very confused.

Her favorite bag, because it crunches so much and offers a very convenient wide opening to jump into.

Keeping my feet warm under my desk while I do homework.

Reclining on the recently subdued tissue paper that she was enamored with for a month straight.

This is Lorelai, who is probably way too spoiled, as a cat should be (obviously). She's very pretty and very squirrelly and my main function in her life is to feed her and occasionally provide petting services. She's also a very good distraction from homework, when she wants to be.

Until tomorrow (hopefully with more depth of thought)!

Holidailies Day 4: Of Trophies and Belief

I feel like the last couple of days have been nice and deep and... slightly depressing. So today I decided to talk about something that always makes me super happy: Soccer. Specifically the World Champion US Women's National Soccer team. Who are pretty much the best thing ever, in my opinion.

I've long been a casual fan of soccer, particularly women's soccer. I played for long enough to get the bug in my system, even though I never went to competitive levels of play. There's just something about the game that gets a hold of my soul, and watching the way the ball moves across the field, the communication that leads to incredibly savvy runs, the ridiculously perfect crosses to meet those runs... I could go on, but I'll spare you.

The US Women's team has long been dominant on their side of the international competition (in stark contrast to the men's team, which can't seem to figure out a solid line-up to save their lives, but that's another conversation).  Even when no one knew about them, and they were having to fight for the US Federation to pay them at all, let alone a living wage, they were building a program that has always been one of the top teams in the world. And as of last July, they are once again on the top of the heap with the designation of the #1 team, having well and truly spanked Japan to make up for the heartbreaking loss of 2011 and win the World Cup.

This team is wonderful for a variety of reasons. For one, they are genuinely good people, and they are all dedicated to growing the game and being good role models. It is much more enjoyable to follow sports when the people playing the game are also fun to watch off the field. Part of that is the clear love and enjoyment they have being around each other. You can't fake that kind of love, and it's nice to see a team culture that embraces it and promotes it.

Then of course there is their actual playing, which is beautiful. I like women's soccer, because it seems to me to be more nuanced. It can be brutal, but there's not as much diving (unless you're playing Brazil), there's not as much dirty play, and I just like the tone of the games more. It's hard to describe. And when it comes to the world stage, the US is absolutely at the top of their game. They are fast, brutal, precise, and when they click on communication, they're virtually unstoppable. You have a backline and a keeper who combined to rack up over 525 minutes of scoreless play in the World Cup, which is nearly unheard of. You have Carli Lloyd who seems to thrive on the big games and can't help but being epic. Kelley O'Hara was a forward turned defender turned midfielder who scored her first international goal as a sub against freaking GERMANY of all teams. Abby Wambach barely played, but she was still the figurehead, and a leader off the field. Same with Christie Rampone, who is truly Captain America. The woman turned 40 during the World Cup and still comes out on the field and destroys forwards who are literally 20 years younger. Meghan Klingenberg is my spirit animal, because she is short and is basically a ninja in defense and it makes me exceedingly happy. Every player on the 23 person roster had the capability to come in and be a total gamechanger, and often they were. Watching the World Cup, even with their relatively slow start (in which they still didn't actually lose a game...), was pure joy. And watching the Victory Tour games since then has been a well deserved victory lap with some truly awesome moments.

I am very excited for this weekend, as the Victory Tour picks back up after their November break. I'll definitely be there on Sunday, "doing homework" while watching. It'll just have to be that way. I've been soccer-deprived the past couple of weeks, and I desperately need my fix.

Until tomorrow.

Holidailies Day 3: Memories

Facebook has been doing this Memories things, where they show you posts from previous years. I actually kinda like it. I have always loved history, and looking at my personal history as recounted on Facebook is cool. Seeing how the last four Novembers have been All NaNo All the Time. Seeing posts of crazy stuff I did in college (or not so crazy stuff).

There are also distinct themes I've seen. I pretty much have one note when it comes to posting about homework. Right now I'm getting a lot of the old statuses where I was like... "This paper is trying to kill me, but I swear I won't let it," which is kinda how I feel RIGHT NOW.

The problem with the memories thing is that it often drops bombs of memories that are equally good and painful at the same time. Like, I love remembering the holidays spent with my sister and my nephews. It still hurts like hell though, so I try to contain it to times when I have the energy to handle it. Over Thanksgiving week, in the midst of massive assignments and wonky work schedules, I was getting a barrage of those memories that I so wasn't prepared to handle.

Then I realized, that's kinda how it always is. I may pretend that I can pull the memories out when I want to, and can deal with them. It's not like that though. There's always the little things that pop up. The realization that I'm writing my paper (and thinking about writing my thesis) on a topic that my sister would love to give her input on. We'd probably wildly disagree on it, because we often did, but her input would still be valuable and I miss it.

Working with kids pretty much guarantees that I get reminded of my nephews every once in awhile. It is a risk I'm willing to take, because they're usually great reminders. Funny things they said, or habits they had. Still, it hurts to know that I won't get a repeat of that when I go to work with high school kids, because they never made it that far.

My only saving grace is that the memories aren't all bad. There are plenty of memories of good times, without the attendant grief. Jokes that I still think are hilarious. Plenty of geeky things that still make me ridiculously happy. There's a reminder of how far I have come in some areas of my life, and how far I still have to go in other areas. It's the benefit of history. You can see what went right, what wasn't the best idea, and apply that to your life.

Enjoy your memories and learn from them. Then look forward and see what you can do with that knowledge to make the rest of your life sufficiently awesome.

Holidailies Day 2: Late Post is Late...

... Because I made the mistake of downloading a new King match-3 game, and they are the most addicting things ever. To my shame. And to the detriment of me remembering to do things like post for Holidailies.

But here I am! Alive, mostly. Being sick + final projects + work being a constant whirlwind = tired puppy face a lot of the time.

It was a rough day in a lot of areas. The news, which is seemingly always depressing. Work had some great moments, and one really rough one that I'm still working on processing. I love my job. So much. I love that I just hit 1 year with the organization, and about 9 months at the site. I love the relationships I've built with the kids, over that time. I especially love my co-workers. Being on the same page when you're dealing with kids is crucial, and we tend to gel really well in that way.

But sometimes the weight of knowing gets to me. The weight of knowing bits and pieces of what some of these kids go through, and knowing that the ones who are the most frustrating are the ones who are going through life circumstances that would totally trip me out. I mean, I lived a pretty charmed life in a lot of ways, comparatively. If I were facing these things, who's to say I wouldn't be just as out of control?

As bad as the knowing is, what's worse is the weight of knowing and only being able to do so much. I'm with them for 4-5 hours a day, and I only get to have more than a passing interaction with a relatively small group of kids. There's not all that much I can really do, other than be there, and hopefully be a safe place if they need it. Most days I'm okay with that. Most days I am content to be there, and do everything in my power to be a good person for them.

Tonight the weight of knowing and not being able to do anything is pretty heavy. I'm bad at not taking my work home with me. There are those kids who've gotten hold of my heart, and I can't just leave it at the door and pick it back up tomorrow.

It's a hazard of the profession, I suppose.

Until tomorrow.

Holidailies Day 1: Because I Can

Hey, it's Holidailies! The only time that I regularly update any blog beside my Tumblr one (which kinda counts? More on that later). So welcome back to Ned the Duck, and enjoy the ride!

Since I last embarked on this journey, a few things have changed. The one that most affects this endeavor is that I have, in fact, gone back to school (finally!) to work on getting my teaching credential and Masters degree. Which means that this time of year, once again, is marked not only by holiday cheer and general merriment, but also Finals. Well one final. But it's a doozy. So for the first week or so, these posts may be a little more sparsely worded, until such a time as that is turned in and I can breathe freely.

If you're new here, I don't try and stick with any theme during the month usually. Just whatever happens to be on my mind. It's the one place I let myself get on my soapbox, if I feel the need. There is a 100% larger chance of cat pictures this year, because I have a cat again and she is delightfully quirky (as all the best cats are). I also reserve the right to fangirl over various things here, including my most recent love, U.S. Women's Soccer. We have four Victory Tour games coming up, which is going to be spectacular. Very much looking forward to that.

Honestly, the thing I'm looking forward to this month is break, once I conquer the Final Paper of Doom. It's been a whirlwind of a semester, and I am looking forward to having some time to process everything that's happened. Also, doing adult things, like filling out paperwork in a timely manner, and doing chores more than once a week, and maybe cleaning my room which somehow became a storage space again over the last few months (not sure how that happened). And if I spend some of those days binge-watching Jessica Jones (which I've started), Daredevil (which I haven't started yet), and Doctor Who (which I'm woefully behind on), well then, I'll have time for that too!

Now that I have given myself this break from my reading, it's time to sign off and jump back into the research articles! Whoo hoo! *cries a little*

Until tomorrow, friends.

Be Love

This article is the basis for this post:

A Voice For the Voiceless - Sarah Bessey

(Disclaimer: Soapbox moment ahead)

I was raised a Christian, with parents who would consistently rail against the inhumanity of abortion. How it hurt the woman, and was murder, and all that jazz. Believe me when I say that most of the people in my old community would 100% support Hobby Lobby in their fight against having to supply contraceptives. Because REASONS. 

Of all the beliefs I’ve reconsidered over my journey of moving away and getting healed from a lot of the crap, one has stayed pretty well seated. I don’t support abortion. The thing that has changed is that I now understand it. I have close personal friends who have gotten them, and I know them, and I know their story, and I understand what led them to that choice. 

Which is where this article comes in. Because if the unborn children are the truly voiceless, than the mothers of those children are the one who are nearly voiceless. Even if they wanted to tell their stories, many are afraid to. And rightly so. The amount of vitriol and shame that is heaped upon them FROM THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH is absolutely despicable. From the self-same people who fought to prevent these women from having access to safe medical care, or affordable contraceptives. Who are now shaming and refusing to help, because they didn’t choose the right path.

Excuse me, but last time I checked Jesus was the only one who got to decide who chose the right path or not. And He was pretty clear about what the right path was. Love God. Love others as much as you love yourself. Shame is not love. Shame should NEVER be part of the equation.

So here are a few questions to be considered:

1. Where has our culture failed to educate women, and empower them enough to prevent this choice from happening? For the record, I’m not talking about Abstinence Only, because it is dumb, and not actually educational. I know this from experience. (So I guess that’s one answer to my first question) What are ways we could improve it?

2. What can be done on the other side? If women have their babies, and have no money, what help can be provided outside of what the government offers? If they don’t have their babies, what help can be given to them in terms of appropriate health care and emotional support?

3. What can YOU do to help? If you’re a Christian or not. There are thousands of women each day faced with this choice that permanently affects their lives, whatever they choose. It doesn’t have to be huge. Find someone you know. Offer to be a support system for them. Love them even on their bad days. 

That’s what it all comes down to really. Love. Love doesn’t remember wrongs. I think a lot of people forget that. 

And for the love of God, if you are a Christian who is pro-life, put your walk where your talk is. Educate yourself, and be a light. Be love.

/soapbox moment

Why I Read Harry Potter (And Why Jesus Is Okay With It)

(This is a re-post from my old blog, written in Dec. 2013. I've been thinking about it recently and decided to share it from here.)

To understand where this post is coming from, know that I have heard and paid attention to every Christian argument about Harry Potter and considered them in due time. And still, in the 13 years since I've been embroiled in this debate by virtue of being one of the ones in my conservative community who not only didn't see a problem with them but loved them, I've never once faltered from my wholehearted support of these books. I'm now going to attempt the considerable challenge of stating my reasons for this without getting too snarky/condemning, because I've endured a lot of personal attacks over this subject and I'm working on being better about not retaliating. Despite my talent for it.

Reason 1: I'm not afraid. What do I mean by this? I mean that 90% of the arguments I hear about why people should stay away from Harry Potter are by people who are so afraid of being led astray that they create unnecessary rules. So let me state right here and now: Witchcraft is a thing. It's real, it's not a new thing by any stretch of the imagination. Harry Potter is not real witchcraft. How do I know this? Because I've studied the real thing. Not practiced, just researched to see exactly what I was dealing with. Besides, anyone who has a passion for Ancient Celtic culture runs into it more often than not, because so many of the symbols are tied up in the ancient pagan practices. So yes, I know that it's real. I know that it's not something to be played with. And I know that Harry Potter, from everything I've ever read or seen, isn't close in philosophy or practice.

Aside from that, for Christians, there is one truth that I think a lot of us overlook too often. We have absolutely no reason to be afraid of anything in the spiritual realm that is not of God. Because we have God. Who wins. Every time. Yes, they have power, and they use it. But our source is greater. If we truly believe that, we have no cause to be afraid of inferior power. Just saying.

And also, it's the philosophy of light and dark in practice. There is nothing dark that does not have a greater light side. Satan cannot create, he can only imitate and twist that which God has already created. So if there's power in pagansim, there's greater power in God that He gives Christians free access to through the Holy Spirit. It's a much more wholesome redemptive power too, and altogether awesome.

This also goes back to my post about fantasy and why it's not something to be feared.

Reason 2: I find Jesus so often in Harry Potter. Seriously. The story is based on a boy who is protected from the greatest evil powers BECAUSE OF HIS PARENT'S LOVING SACRIFICE. Furthermore, he is given the power to defeat that evil power once and for all by the knowledge of their love for him. And that's just the beginning of it. The entire series is based on the power of love, to redeem any situation even if the characters in question have been acting like brats the entire time (those who've read the series know that the entirety of Harry's rebellious years were somewhat annoying to read, and had real consequences to boot, which was a fairly good life lesson).

What people don't understand is that so much of Western literature is based on our cultural foundations in Christendom. Whether we want it there or not, the seeds are there, sprouting up in the oddest places. God has a way of making Himself present in unusual places. It's Christmas, for heaven's sake. We celebrate the fact that He CHOSE to be born into a food trough in the middle of a stable. If that's not unusual, I don't know what is.

If you want further proof, look at the entire study of pre-Christian mythology. I went to a lecture on C.S. Lewis and his relationship with mythology, and completely agreed with what he said. Mythology was God's way of preparing the hearts and minds of people to believe in something larger than themselves. The majority of myths from all over the world follow the same pattern of story as the Bible, or they have similar concepts presented within them.

So basically, Jesus is everywhere. I see Him all over the place. Even in Harry Potter. Especially in Harry Potter.

Reason 3: As a reader, and as one who is passionate about education, I cannot deny the effect Harry Potter had on a number of kids who had previously sworn off reading. The talent of J.K. Rowling to tackle such real issues in the midst of the fantastical drew a whole generation of readers in, a whole generation of kids who grew up with the characters. If you've never read the books, you're missing out. I'm not denying that they get dark. They're intense reads from book 4 on. But since when is LIFE ever all hunky-dory? Not only does that make for a boring story, it's not true.

I've never been a fan of neutering reality out of literature in the name of "protecting" kids. Especially not after they've hit puberty and in many cultures and societies would be considered to be capable of acting and thinking as adults in most areas of life. What it really does, in my experience, is remove a person's ability to deal with reality when it hits.

Simple example: When I was a kid, I was sheltered utterly from all forms of bad language. In a militant sort of way. I was one of those kids who got in trouble for saying "dang it." But I never even knew the majority of the real words, the ones that I should have been avoiding. So when I heard a friend using the word "sh*t" I had no idea that it wasn't appropriate. Until of course, I had adopted it into my language and got in trouble for using it. Had I known what to watch out for, I might have avoided it.

Empowerment is what I'm talking about, really. By letting kids know that life isn't always going to be the happiest of things, and giving them actual tools to deal with that, we're empowering them to take their challenges in stride. By sheltering overmuch, you're producing the opposite effect. There is no way to protect any person from hurt. The best we can do is love them enough to give them weapons to battle the hurt. I'm reminded of the quote, "Evil never wins unless good men do nothing." I forget who said it, or even if that's the right wording, but the point is there.

I could go on for days, but I'll stop there. There's this annoying thing called life that I took a brief break from to write this, and it's calling my name now. *sighs and walks off muttering "Accio job applications"...*