Spirit?

So you know that post about how I was listening to tons of Christmas music because I just wanted Christmas to BE HERE already? Well, now that I've actually had a few days to rest and catch up on stuff, I have changed my mind. If this week could last forever, that would be great. I have no Christmas spirit.

This week has been the week of being able to schedule appointments without three other commitments crowding in on it. This week has been a schedule on my terms. It has been a week of sleep. A week of having time to both accomplish all the things on my lists AND get some zone out time in. I love this week. I would like it not to end.

Alas, end it must. For soon, Christmas will encroach, and with Christmas comes the end of my self-imposed mental break and the beginning of prepping for the semester, whatever that looks like. Fun story, I still don't actually know.

My plan was to just do normal subbing when I could to earn a little extra on the side while working full-bore on my thesis. Yet somehow, I just went to a job interview for a long-term sub position that would be full time, require a lot of planning and the inevitable grading. It would pay a LOT more. Like, enough to maybe get me through the summer without getting a job so I could work on my thesis THEN. But it would also reintroduce insanity into my life a little earlier than I was planning. Which is fine. I long ago learned to thrive on insanity or else live really, really stressed out all the time.

I find out tomorrow if I get it, and honestly, I am fine either way. I already have a plan in place for if I don't get it, because this kinda came out of the blue. I can make a new plan if I do get it. I just get to live for the next 24-ish hours in limbo, which isn't my super favorite. But I can handle it. That's what all my plans to occupy my time are for.

Still, even with all of this, I can't help feeling just a little bad that I'm not more Christmas-y this year. I can't help it. I try and be as enthusiastic as I can when people wish me a good holiday or a Merry Christmas. But I think the most enthusiastic I've gotten over anything Christmas related is the fact that I got Christmas tamales at the farmer's market at Kaiser today and an amazing Secret Santa gift.

Seriously, everything about this is perfect.

I've never been super big on the traditional Christmas stuff anyways, but I try to at least pretend. This year, I don't even have the energy to pretend. I am kinda at the point where I don't care. Christmas is not my favorite. Talk to me on St. Patrick's Day (because hello, GREEN!). I have no children to impress with good holiday memories, be it Club kids or biological children. I will take my time and rest and be thankful for it.

If you want some Spirit, wait until next week because I will know what my future holds and be rested enough to rustle up some enthusiasm about it.

Until tomorrow.