Reflection

I should not be writing a blog post right now. This is me being a typical student and finding everything I can possibly do to put off the inevitable writing assignment looming. They tell me the semester ends tomorrow, which I laugh at because I'm not really done until the 22nd.

Yet, I still must produce a Reflection Letter about the second half of the semester by tomorrow. This seems like it should be a fairly easy task, no? I write every day (especially during Holidailies). I reflect on things all the time. Writing + reflection = Easy Assignment!

Except for one minor fact. It is really hard to reflect on something when it is still happening at such a pace that you haven't even really had a solid 20-30 minutes (their recommendation) to just sit and think about what you've learned, what you've gained, what Blessings you've encountered in the process. Their language not mine. Mine is closer to, what didn't kill you, because that probably made you stronger, right?

There have obviously been good things. As I reported earlier in the week (can I just use that as my letter?), the amount of time and energy spent on this endeavor is being rewarded, by students who are miraculously showing progress, even with my teaching style that sometimes feels as wobbly as a toddler learning to walk. By getting to glean from teachers who have figured out more than I had realized I needed to know (a very scary prospect for a know-it-all in recovery, let me tell you). By getting opportunities to continue working with the age group even while I'm mega-focused on getting my impending Thesis done and written, through soccer and substitute teaching for the district.

On the other hand, there are nights like tonight when I get home after 8 pm for the third consecutive night (no end in sight for that stat either), freezing cold, tired, and brain dead. Suddenly, the prospect of writing something coherent and positively tinted seems a little bit more difficult, while the fact that I've had this *mumbling* document open and basically blank for the last 5 days is frustrating me to no end.

So I guess I should go do the damn thing so I can stop ignoring my sleep tracker app (downloaded to help me make sure I'm getting enough sleep, or at least track my lack of enough sleep...) which is telling me that I should have gone to bed 20 minutes ago. Poor sleep tracker app, so ignored.

Also, this song is totally stuck in my head now because of the title of this post. So enjoy.

Until tomorrow.