... Because I made the mistake of downloading a new King match-3 game, and they are the most addicting things ever. To my shame. And to the detriment of me remembering to do things like post for Holidailies.
But here I am! Alive, mostly. Being sick + final projects + work being a constant whirlwind = tired puppy face a lot of the time.
It was a rough day in a lot of areas. The news, which is seemingly always depressing. Work had some great moments, and one really rough one that I'm still working on processing. I love my job. So much. I love that I just hit 1 year with the organization, and about 9 months at the site. I love the relationships I've built with the kids, over that time. I especially love my co-workers. Being on the same page when you're dealing with kids is crucial, and we tend to gel really well in that way.
But sometimes the weight of knowing gets to me. The weight of knowing bits and pieces of what some of these kids go through, and knowing that the ones who are the most frustrating are the ones who are going through life circumstances that would totally trip me out. I mean, I lived a pretty charmed life in a lot of ways, comparatively. If I were facing these things, who's to say I wouldn't be just as out of control?
As bad as the knowing is, what's worse is the weight of knowing and only being able to do so much. I'm with them for 4-5 hours a day, and I only get to have more than a passing interaction with a relatively small group of kids. There's not all that much I can really do, other than be there, and hopefully be a safe place if they need it. Most days I'm okay with that. Most days I am content to be there, and do everything in my power to be a good person for them.
Tonight the weight of knowing and not being able to do anything is pretty heavy. I'm bad at not taking my work home with me. There are those kids who've gotten hold of my heart, and I can't just leave it at the door and pick it back up tomorrow.
It's a hazard of the profession, I suppose.