The problem with trying to write stuff daily is that I very rarely have good things to say multiple days in a row. It's like my brain needs some time to recharge in between long-ish posts.
Actually today it's probably more related to the fact that I spent a good 3 hours yesterday doing cleaning things ahead of showing the house, one of which involved moving stuff in the backyard that is still covered in ash. So my sinuses hate everything today. That plus the overall exhaustion of having to interact with people in close quarters after months of getting used to having people *not* in my space has made today very spacey.
One of the things I'm learning about dealing with my brain after finally getting partial answers to the question, "why is it SO HARD to just do the things..." is that mental exhaustion is just as valid a reason to pace myself with tasks as physical exhaustion is. At least until I get medical providers sorted - because God forbid you need health insurance without a full-time job in America - and can start advocating to get set up with a therapist and a psychiatrist.
So I set myself a manageable list of daily tasks, of which this is one for this month, and then I give myself a whole lot of grace in when and how I get those done. Because some are just a few seconds, like, "did you remember to take your meds this morning?" And some, like job searching, can vary. This last week I gave myself credit for doing job stuff while listing the house and fielding tour requests because getting someone to take over our lease ASAP will save us a whole lot of money which is as important to me as eventually finding more work.
Anyways, that's my very tired musing for the night. Hopefully tonight, I will remember to go to sleep before 2 AM so that when the cats inevitably wake me up early, I will be less blah throughout the day.
Until tomorrow,
Hobbit
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